Communal Grief Rituals

We have 3 communal grief rituals in 2022 on the traditional lands of Coast Salish People.

Some take place over a 2 day weekend, both Saturday and Sunday while another is a one day ritual.

photos by Jem Cresswell

Facilitated by Ahlay and Laurence Cole

What to Expect


This is a two day ritual. We will be on ritual time, meaning time is left at the door once you enter. 

Our time together will be a combination of singing, poetry, movement, practice in sacred listening, witnessing and being witnessed and sharing with the whole group and in smaller groups.

The grief ritual piece comes from the lineage of the Dagara People in Burkina Faso, West Africa. It was brought to Turtle Island by Elders Sobonfu & Malidoma Somé. It was their Elders of the Dagara tribe who informed Sobonfu and her husband Malidoma that the time had come to bring ritual (especially grief ritual) to the West. To read more about this lineage, click here.

This space is an opportunity to share what is moving through us in whatever shape or form it comes in - perhaps numbness, shame, rage, trembling, stillness, wailing or something else.  

Our work is also inspired by the five gates of grief from Francis Weller: Everything we love we will lose, the places that have not known love, the sorrows of the world, the things we cannot even name that we ache for, and intergenerational or ancestral grief. Together, we will lean into the vulnerability, trust, and surrender needed to remember how to grieve together as a community.

To read about the lineage of communal grief tending I am practicing in, click here. 

Covid protocol

This is an indoor event with huge open windows and ventilation circulating the room.


13 participants min - 26 participants max. 

Each participant is required to send proof of a negative covid test (home tests are ok, but we prefer PCR tests if you have access to them) taken within 72 hours of the ritual start time. An image of the test must be sent by 6pm on Friday, April 15. Here are recommended testing sites: Wa State or Curative. This is regardless of vaccination status. 

Once gathered, each participant will be at choice as to what feels good for them in terms of masking, distancing, contact, etc. We will have a color-coded nametag system available to indicate whether a person is available for closeness (indicated with a green patch), would like others to keep 6 ft of distance (indicated with a red patch), or would like to be checked in with on a case by case basis (indicated with a yellow patch). Participants are welcome to switch patches throughout our time together if their preferences change in this area. Additionally, each individual can choose to wear a mask if that is right for them. Beyond the testing prior to arrival, we will not be making specific requests of individuals, regardless of vaccination status.

If you are showing symptoms on the days of ritual, please stay home. 


​RITUAL EARLY BIRD FEE IS $375 USD (march 4 - march 15, 2022) 

​RITUAL FEE IS $450 USD (march 16 - april 1)

Sliding scale limited solidarity slots available.

20% of ritual fees will be redistributed to Grief to Action and Real Rent Duwamish.

We don't believe in barriers to healing spaces. The cost of this ritual should not be a barrier to you if this space is calling to your soul. That being said, the cost of this ritual is so that the facilitators and organizers may be resourced and we can redistribute a significant offering to The Grief to Action Camp. We are committed to making this work accessible to a wide variety of communities; especially cash poor and working class folks who are on the front lines of social movements and community work. Limited Sliding Scale Slots and two work trade options per ritual are available. 



A full refund will be given for participants who receive a positive COVID test prior to gathering. Cancellations prior to April 2 will be provided a refund minus a $50 handling fee. Cancellations prior to April 8 will receive a 50% refund minus the $50 handling fee. If a cancellation is made after April 8 we cannot guarantee a refund due to the low likelihood of someone from the waitlist being able to fill your spot. If we are able to fill your spot, we will offer a 50% refund minus the $50 handling fee. This policy helps to hold us all accountable and creates some protection for us as the facilitators and organizers.


Ahlay (Jewish, Scandinavian) is a queer, cis-woman, parent, using they/she pronouns and benefitting from white privilege. They are a commitment to breaking cycles of intergenerational trauma both caused and endured by their ancestors.


Both Ahlay and Laurence (white/cis-gender elder) are committed to antiracism and undoing internalized and institutionalized white supremacy. They understand that based on their positionalities there are limitations to the shared lived experience between themselves and folks with trans, disabled, BIPOC and additional unnamed identities. If you prefer space holders that have a more shared life experience with you, check out Grief to Action and books by Pixie Lighthorse and Sobonfu & Malidoma Somé.

humpback whale teach us how to breathe, into our bodies so that we may grieve

deep into the dark, into the abyss - so we may rise up into all our bliss

For questions or inquiries you can reach us via email. 

Join the waitlist for Communal Grief Rituals

We will add you to the waitlist for the dates you are interested in and send you updates as they arise.

Thanks for submitting!